“Their beans are the best. They’re made from beans and...”
— Me, talking about the Mexican...

“How did all of the potted meat and sardines end up in my...”
— We have this thing in the...

“Smells like gum in here.”
— Dan Cederholm tweeted this...

This was at a rice pudding dessert restaurant in SoHo. Only...

“Just got back from the puppet show.”
— Brian Fling from Blue Flavor...

“I’m looking into clock kits.”
— Rob seems to be the sole...

“Oh it’s tongue and cheek alright. Tongue and ass...”
— Another eloquent observation...

“Do you want some wheat?”
— Dave DeRuchie, Happy Cog...

“The bathroom smelled like crabs - no the pubic kind, the...”
— I said this to Heather when...

“If I ever got stopped by customs, I want it to be for...”
— I said this, and never have...

“I have this thing with shippers - they don’t like to...”
— Robert Jolly said this to me...

They tell it like it is here in Philly. I was handed this...

I don't need to sit down for a grilled...

Sean Alexander at Club 185 in Columbus when a hot greazy cheese- swirled sammich arrived and I was...

I had to wear a rash guard because my...

My college friend John talking about surfing in Hawaii. Truth Is, he surfs like a shipping palette.

Not much I can say that isn’t obvious.

This is like a bun with no hot dog.

“Get with it, beardy.”
— Jason Santa Maria just said...

“I chased a cockroach into my toaster.”
— Via Jason Santa Maria, who...

“Pay no attention to the man near the brownie pan.”
— Rob Weychert, at work, whilst...

In London, at the Mayor’s Thames Festival in...

This was Poplar Street, outside the Happy Cog Philadelphia...

“My dad’s coming Wednesday to bring me the cheese.”
— Jenn Lukas, referring to her...

“The ratio of goo to cookie is two to one.”
— Rob Weychert, at work, after...