MyMaidens.com

My name is Greg Hoy. The gig here is to document things I've never heard people say or things I see I've never seen before. I call them "maidens". I doubt I'll ever be able to say "Now I've heard everything" or "I've seen it all", but this should help me keep track.

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Jan 28

This recently christened my ears:
“How did all of the potted meat and sardines end up in my drawer?” We have this thing in the office where we will buy canned meat and fish delicacies and give them to an unsuspecting coworker. Apparently Jenn Lukas is just that coworker.

Jan 7

This recently christened my ears:
“Smells like gum in here.” Dan Cederholm tweeted this from the post office. Could have been worse. Could have smelled like my friend John’s shower drain when the sewer backed up.

Dec 23

I've never seen this. Never ever:

This was at a rice pudding dessert restaurant in SoHo. Only in New York.

Dec 20

This recently christened my ears:
“Just got back from the puppet show.” Brian Fling from Blue Flavor tweeted this. I know there’s context there, but it’s funnier not knowing what it is.

Dec 14

This recently christened my ears:
“I’m looking into clock kits.” Rob seems to be the sole inspiration for this site. He said this to me after asking what a bushing was. By the way Rob, it’s a replaceable thin tube or sleeve, usually of bronze, mounted in a case or housing as a bearing.

Dec 6

This recently christened my ears:
“Oh it’s tongue and cheek alright. Tongue and ass cheek.” Another eloquent observation from Rob.

Dec 4

This recently christened my ears:
“Do you want some wheat?” Dave DeRuchie, Happy Cog Project Manager, said this to me at lunch while holding up a bag of honey wheat twist pretzel things. I’ve been offered those before, but never simply ‘wheat’.

Nov 30

This recently christened my ears:
“The bathroom smelled like crabs - no the pubic kind, the Maryland kind.” I said this to Heather when leaving the loo at the Standard Tap. Of course the next question was, “What do pubic crabs smell like?” I would imagine like this.

Nov 30

This recently christened my ears:
“If I ever got stopped by customs, I want it to be for carrying butter.” I said this, and never have before. At dinner last night with colleagues, discussing the benefits of English and Irish butter over the butter here in the US, albeit delicious in it’s own right.

Nov 21

This recently christened my ears:
“I have this thing with shippers - they don’t like to ship to me.” Robert Jolly said this to me moments ago. I can vouch for this statement, because I have to overhear him verbally berating customer service representatives on the phone. At the end of these calls, I feel like I have done something wrong.

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